


Road Shenanigans

by TheseusInTheMaze



Series: Plausible Deniability [5]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Anal Sex, Concerts, Cunnilingus, F/F, F/M, Feelings Jam, Fellatio, First Time, Jealousy, Kidfic, Lactation, M/M, Oral Sex, Pining, Polyamory, Quiet Sex, Road Trip, Shmoop, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 19:10:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11065311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Sequel toWrens and Fireflies.Dan takes Holly with him on tour.





	Road Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HerbertBest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/gifts).



> Edited by the ever lovely Angel!
> 
> Another one of these monsters! I tried to keep it to 12k this time, I swear! It just... grew!

Dan woke up to the sun streaming into his face, and his daughter babbling in her attached crib. 

"Hey Wren," said Dan, and he sat up, rubbing his eyes.

Holly was out and about, costume shopping, and Ross had gone to work on his own projects. 

Which left Dan with the baby. 

Not that he was complaining. 

Wren squealed when she heard Dan's voice, and she started kicking her little feet and waving her hands. 

Dan scooted closer to Holly's side of the bed, and he reached into the crib, Wren's fingers grabbing hold of his and squeezing, her bright green eyes staring up at him in shock and delight.

"Hi sweetie," said Dan, and he lifted her up, right onto his chest, her little head pressed against his chin, her hands grabbing for his hair.

It was starting to get longer - he'd have to cut it again soon, if there was enough of it for her to grab at it. 

"Did you sleep well, Wren? I know you kept up your Mommy." Dan kissed the top of her head. 

His phone was blinking, and he reached across clumsily, turning it on. 

He kept the baby on his chest, rubbing her back as she kept babbling, cooing, mumbling to herself, and he unlocked his phone to check on his messages.

One of them was from Arin, and it was a picture of Arin's newly painted toenails (Suzy had apparently been bored). 

And one was a voice message from Holly, which was weird, because Holly didn't like talking on the phone.

He called his voicemail, still rubbing Wren's back, and he balanced his phone against one ear.

"Hi, fuzz face," came Holly's voice through the phone.

She sounded tired.

"Hi," Dan murmured, and Wren looked up at him.

"You too, sweetie," said Dan, and he laughed.

"So, uh, someone can't sleep," said Holly, and indeed, there were fussy baby noises in the background. "I think she's cutting another tooth. But you know that already, you fell asleep right after she did, and then she woke up like three hours later, so I came to take her out. I figured we could look at the pigeons."

There was a rustling noise, and more fussy baby noises. 

"Lookit the birdies, Wren," Holly said, her voice taking on the special cadence she always used with the animals and the baby. "See, they're all sleeping. Like you should."

Dan chuckled, and Wren chuckled back.

"But anyway," said Holly, at two in the morning the night before, "I know you wanted me to sing for you, and I'm a horrible singer, but it's late enough that the only person who is here to sing won't tell anyone, unless she tells a therapist in twenty years." A husky, sleep deprived chuckle. "So, uh, here you go."

She started to sing, and Dan's eyes filled up with tears.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray...." 

Dan was crying.

Full on emotional crying, and it would be embarrassing, but the only person who was witnessing it was still small enough to be entertained by a game of peekaboo. 

"I'll always love you, and make you happy," Holly sang, slightly off key, right in his ear, and he lifted Wren up, so that she was staring him in the face, her eyes meeting his.

She grinned a gummy smile, and she reached out, little hands patting his face. 

"So, uh, that's the singing you asked for," Holly said into his ear, and she sounded embarrassed. "Someone finally went to sleep, so I'm gonna try to get her to bed, and then get me to bed. I love you." 

His heart caught in his chest, and he kissed Wren's nose. 

She squealed and patted his face, grabbing for his beard.

"Hi, sweetie," said Dan. "You've got the most lovely mommy in the world, you know that?"

She chuckled at him, still holding on to his beard, tugging. 

He kissed her loudly on the cheek, and she squealed. 

"Now," said Dan, "how about we get you out of that diaper and then get you some breakfast?"

She gurgled at him. 

"Such a sweetie," said Dan, and he sat up, still holding her, making his way towards the nursery.

"At some point," Dan told his daughter, setting her out on the changing table and disposing of the dirty diaper, then putting her into a new one, "you're gonna have to sleep in your own room." 

She kicked her little feet. 

He smiled at her.

* * *

"Welcome to Game Grumps! We've got a visitor today, so we've gotta watch our fuckin' language!"

"Really, Arin? You're gonna swear in front of my daughter?"

"She can't talk yet."

"She's gonna swear when she's got more than like three words, and it'll be in front of my mother -"

"You worry too much."

* * *

Dan dandled Wren on his knee, and he sat on the couch, rubbing her belly. 

Ross was in his office, Holly was due in about ten minutes.

Wren, resplendent in a green onesie and bright blue socks, reached out for Suzy as she walked by.

"Hey, sweetie," said Suzy, and she picked up Wren, bouncing her. 

She chuckled up at Suzy, and she held on to Suzy's hair. 

"I think she has the same taste in women as her mother," said Dan, and he was grinning. 

She grinned back, and it was such a _nice_ change.

They'd mended whatever tear was between them - maybe with the horrifically bad sex. 

And now Suzy was fussing over his daughter, who was, in turn, beginning to fuss, probably from wanting her lunch.

"Oh, sweetie, shh," said Suzy, and then Wren was grabbing at Suzy's shirt and trying to pull the hem up, the way she did with any woman who was holding her.

Suzy cackled, which got Wren laughing, which got Dan laughing, and the three of them were still laughing when Holly came in.

"Am I gonna get the joke?" Holly looked slightly bewildered, but she was smiling as she bent down to kiss Dan, then Suzy, then take her daughter.

"Boobs are funny," Suzy said, as Holly sat down, pushing her own bra up to offer Wren the breast.

Wren latched on, and Holly made a face.

"Are you looking forward to the tour?" 

"I'm not," Holly said. 

"I'm not exactly looking forward to it either," said Dan. 

"Why not?" Suzy looked a bit wistful. "It's you and Arin and Brian manning it up man style, for two weeks."

"Well, yeah, but I miss my girls when I go," said Dan. "And Ross," he added, as an afterthought.

"Gee, thanks," said Ross, and he flopped on the couch next to Holly, kissing her on the temple. "How's the greedy guts?"

"She's as good as she was this morning," said Dan. "I think she's gained some more weight."

"You always thinks she's gaining weight, or growing a new tooth, or about to say a new word.

"Well, yeah," said Dan. "She's the best baby."

"What, ever?"

"Totally ever."

"What about Jesus?" 

"What about him?"

"Wasn't he a virgin birth?"

"That what it says in _your_ version of events," Dan said, and he reached over to stroke Wren's head. "We ready to go?"

"Where are you guys going?"

"Dinner," said Dan, and he grinned. "Family dinner."

"Have fun," said Suzy, and she kissed Holly on the mouth, patted Wren's head, then went to edit on her computer. 

* * * 

“I’m gonna miss this,” said Dan, as the they all sat around the kitchen table, Wren asleep in a basket on top of it.

“What, having to leave restaurants because the baby starts crying?” Ross paused in his spaghetti eating, to give Wren a Significant look.

“No, just...being with you guys. With my wife. With my boyfriend.”

“Am I your boyfriend or your husband?”

“Husband by proxy,” Holly suggested. 

She had her own spaghetti. 

“Well, yeah,” said Dan, “but still.”

“Still what?”

“I don’t know,” Dan said, and he yawned. 

“Maybe Holly should go on tour with you,” said Ross.

“What?” 

“What?” 

Holly and Dan both stared at Ross, in something like shock. 

“Why would I go on the tour with you?”

“You’ve been saying you feel like a baby with a woman attached,” Dan pointed out. “And it’d do you some good to have time to yourself.”

“How would I have time to myself, in your tour bus?”

“It’s gonna be emptier, since it’s just me and Arin and Brian this time,” said Dan. “We’ll have empty bunks….”

“What about Wren?” 

“What about her?” 

“I’m not bringing the baby on a tour across the country,” Holly said. “It’s not good for her. Or me.”

“I could watch the baby,” said Ross, with a thoughtful expression. ‘And she’s not nursing the way she used to - she’s on some solids these days.”

“Well, solid for a given value of solid,” said Dan, always the stickler. 

“I could get some father/daughter bonding time,” said Ross. “And you and Dan can bone.”

Holly and Dan made eye contact, then burst out into mute giggling. 

“Why are you so convinced we need to bone?”

“Hols,” Ross said, as if he was talking to someone who was very slow, “I see the way you guys look at each other.”

“We’re married,” said Dan, and he was blushing.

It had been almost eight months since they’d had sex. 

He’d had sex with his other partners - Arin was always ready and willing, and even Ross was willing to give (or receive) the occasional late night blowie. 

But it wasn’t… it wasn’t sex with Holly.

Not that he was gonna bug her about it - they were all three exhausted with the new baby, and Holly was just recovering from having her in the first place.

But Dan was getting… antsy, and he had a feeling that Holly was too.

Their kissing, when they had the opportunity to give each other more than the occasional peck, was getting deeper, more desperate.

“... okay, fine, it’s been a while,” said Dan. “But that’s no reason to drag Holly around on the trip.”

“Well, yeah, fine, maybe I think you guys just need to do your own thing for a bit. And Holly can have a chance to not be a mom all the time.”

“I’m gonna be a mom already,” Holly said, and she sounded tired.

“Well, okay, yeah, you’re still a mom, but you’re gonna be… it won’t be all you are.”

“So you think I’m nothing but a mother?” Holly was starting to bristle.

They were all a bit more easy to anger these days.

All that lack of sleep. 

“No,” said Ross, and now he sounded really frustrated. “I’m just saying that I think you need a break.”

“... you can go do your own thing while me and Arin are doing stuff,” Dan pointed out. “Like, show stuff, I mean.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You can go look around, have some solo time.”

“Won’t Arin feel weird about it?” 

Wren woke up, and she was fussing, her little hands waving.

“Is she hungry?” 

“Nah, she ate, like, an hour ago.”

Dan took his daughter out of her basket, holding her to his chest and rocking, making soothing noises. 

He was going to miss her desperately. 

But having Holly along… that idea was… it was nice.

It was comforting.

If only he could bring Wren along.

But that would be a horrible idea. 

Dan sighed, and Wren relaxed against him. 

“We could take Suzy with us,” Dan said slowly. “If that’d be better?”

“What, because you want me to have some girls over or something?” 

“No,” said Dan. “so that we don’t do the weird triad thing.”

“The weird triad thing?” 

“Where you turn into a triad, and Suzy would feel left out, and generally we’d be okay.”

“Do we do the weird triad thing?” Ross sounded nothing so much as interested. 

“We don’t count,” said Dan. “We’re already married.”

“I mean, technically the both of us are married to Holly, but not to each other.”

“But still, we’re both married to Holly. We’re a triad.”

“Okay, we’re a triad, but… gaah.” 

“Goo?” 

Wren stared up at Dan, confused. 

“Your parents are crazy,” he informed his daughter.

“You’re her parent too,” Ross pointed out.

“I know. I’m part of that,” Dan said, and he yawned.

Wren, Holly, and Ross yawned back. 

“Let’s go to bed,” said Dan. “And we can talk with Arin and Suzy about it in the morning.”

* * * 

So they talked.

There was a good deal of negotiation, a good deal of talking, and that was... kinda stressful, no lie.

Dan's heart broke a little bit, at the idea of leaving Wren, but... fuck it. It broke every time he left.

Holly needed it.

Maybe he needed it a bit - he was very much turning into an Abba, to the point that he pointed out horses when he was driving with other adults, and was beginning to view Holly's boobs as a food source more than a boner inducing thing.

So maybe traveling with Holly and Arin (and even Suzy) for two weeks would help.

* * *

And then they'd sorted it out. 

More or less.

Ross would stay with Wren, with Barry dropping in so Ross wouldn't go crazy.

Holly pumped what seemed like her entire weight in breast milk. 

And Dan... Dan got used to the idea. 

Used to the idea of traveling with both of his partners, and with his partner's partner. 

Got used to the idea of seeing Holly as a person without a baby attached, which made him feel guilty - usually, if there was Holly, there was Wren. If Holly didn't have Wren, Dan had Wren, or Ross.

... Dan was even going to miss Ross, which came as a bit of a shock.

He loved the man, as a co-parent, as a partner. But there was the familiar tightness in the back of his throat, the last night, when they were all three sitting around the kitchen table.

"You think she's gonna miss us?" 

He stared down at Wren, who was babbling at him, grabbing up at his face and patting him with her little hands.

"Of course she is," said Ross. "She loves you."

"I don't know if she knows us as people yet," said Holly, and she sighed, leaning back into her chair.

"She smiles whenever she sees me," said Dan, defensive. "You love me, don't you?"

He'd shaved, and she kept patting his face, looking quizzical. 

She knew him by his curly hair and his beaky nose, but the beard came and went. 

He kissed her hand, noisily, and she squealed. 

She took up so much space in his brain, so much space in his _life_.

He hadn't gone on a proper tour since she'd been born - what would it be like, to not have her at literal and metaphorical arm's reach?

"I think it'll do you good," said Ross. "You're turning into one of _those_ dads."

"I'm not a dad, I'm an Abba," said Dan, smug.

"Babababa!" 

"Yes, dear," Dan said, and he jiggled her a little, as she pulled on the buttons of his shirt, until he unbuttoned it and she could rest her head on his bare skin. 

"That's it, exactly," said Ross. "The fact that you make that distinction. That's proof enough."

"There's two fathers in this family," Dan said, "I just wanna make sure that I stand out!"

Holly began to giggle, then to laugh, belly laugh, and Dan and Ross both looked at her, concerned. 

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Holly said, and she was still giggling. "Just... you guys. Oh my god."

"What about us?"

"Just... the two of you." She made a vague gesture to the two of them, and then she went back to laughing, cackling and chortling, her face turning bright red. 

"What's she talking about?" 

"I have no idea," said Ross. He reached his arms out. "Gimme my baby."

"You're gonna have her for two weeks," Dan said, his tone accusing, and he jiggled her, as Wren cuddled closer to his chest. 

"Well, yeah," said Ross, "but still."

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" Holly was shooting Dan a worried look.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"What? Why? Because I'm still nursing or something?"

"No, no," Dan said hurriedly. "You've never been on tour before."

"Oh. Well, Ross is gonna take care of the animals."

"The animals and the baby. I'm a regular caretaker, aren't I?" 

Ross's tone was sardonic. 

"If you were a caretaker in a movie, you'd be the murderer," Holly pointed out, in what sounded like an attempt to cheer him. 

"So that means I can become a horrible murderer?" Ross brightened.

"Our house is nowhere near big enough to be the Overlook hotel," Holly said.

"It's a pity," said Dan. "It'd be awesome to have that much space. Think of the shit we could do!"

"Indoor pigeon loft," Holly said, her voice dreamy. 

"That would smell _terrible_ ," said Ross.

"Yeah, but we could just open all the windows!"

"If it's the Overlook, wouldn't it be too cold to open the windows?"

"It's not winter all year long," Holly pointed out. 

"How do you know what the Overlook is like? You don't even like horror movies."

"The Shining isn't a horror movie," said Dan, with some authority. "It's a classic."

"So have you seen Friday the 13th?"

"Urgh," said Dan, and he shuddered, which got Wren fussing.

Dan sighed, and handed her over to Ross. 

"That's a classic," Holly pointed out.

"No, it's a slasher. Slashers aren't classics."

"Bullshit," said Holly, and she was actually getting heated.

Part of it was probably being very tired, but part of it might have been actual strong feelings.

"It was the very _first_ slasher," Holly said. 

"Yeah, but it's still a slasher," said Dan. "A slasher isn't a classic."

"We should watch it," Holly said. 

"No way," said Dan.

"We could show it to Wren," Ross suggested.

"We are not subjecting my daughter to that... filth."

"Excuse me," said Ross, raising an eyebrow. " _You_ are talking about filth?"

"... okay, not filth-filth," said Dan.

"You have a song titled "No Reason Boner" and you're complaining about Friday the 13th?"

"It's different. Sexuality isn't a dangerous thing. Or a gross thing.”

“He has a point,” said Ross. “I mean, c'mon, all of us are fucking at least two other people -"

"What, two other? Who else are you fucking, Ross?" 

Ross blushed. 

"Okay, so I've just been thinking of fucking Barry, I'm not actually fucking Barry, but... still."

"Barry?" Dan raised an eyebrow. "You should make your move, man." 

"What?!" Ross looked like a deer in the headlights. 

"You should," Holly agreed.

Dan grinned. 

That would explain some things, actually. Like why Ross got more obnoxious whenever Barry was around.

"When I'm busy taking care of a fuckton of animals, and a baby, all by myself?" Ross jiggled Wren, who was beginning to fuss and wriggle. "I think she's hungry, Hol."

"Of course she is," said Holly, her tone resigned, and she took her breast out, reaching out for her daughter. 

Wren latched on, and Holly leaned back, relaxing into the chair. 

“You boys are gonna go on some weird… male bonding thing, and I’m gonna show Wren all the horror movies.”

“It’ll warp her developing brain,” Dan said, putting on a tone of scandalization. 

“She’s gonna be warped enough from all those pigeon feathers,” said Ross. “To say nothing of all of the boner jokes.”

Dan glanced at the clock - it was nearly ten. 

His stomach made a noise, and he made a face. 

Stupid weird stomach.

He stood up, then went to get a peach from the fridge.

He took a bite out of his peach, leaning against the counter, as Holly switched breasts. 

“I’m gonna have to pump on the bus,” she complained, as Wren made loud, smacking noises, one tiny fist pressed against the side of Holly’s breast. 

“It’s not like everyone on that bus hasn’t seen your boobs,” Ross pointed out.

“Brian hasn’t, as far as I’m aware,” said Holly defensively. “I mean, apart from the time he accidentally saw that nude I sent you.”

Dan took a bite out of his peach, and nearly moaned at the sweetness of it, more juice dripping down his chin, across his newly shaven skin.

Holly made a startled noise, and she was staring at him, wide eyed, with the baby still attached to her boob. 

Dan licked some of the juice off of the peach, slurping it up with his lips, and now Ross was staring at him with that same wide eyed expression.

“... what?” 

“Dan?” Ross’s voice shook a bit.

“Mmm?” Dan took another bite of the peach, and more juice dripped down his chin. 

“Dan, please eat your peach without fucking it with your mouth,” Ross said, and he licked his lips. 

“I’m not fucking it with my mouth,” Dan said. “You want me to fuck it with my mouth, I’ll fuck it with my mouth!” 

He was loopy with exhaustion, and he pressed his lips against the peach, beginning to lick it the same way that he ate Holly’s pussy, and he kept eye contact with her, then with Ross, licking and nibbling.

Wren hiccuped loudly, then threw up on Holly’s shirt, which completely ruined the moment. 

“Welp,” said Holly, and she made a face. 

Wren chuckled. 

“Mama!” 

“Yep,” said Holly. “That’s me.” She kissed the top of her daughter’s head, and groped around for a rag to clean herself up. 

Dan grinned, and finished his peach, more juice dripping down his chin.

* * * 

“Hey, Hols?” Ross’s voice was very… casual as he spoke.

Almost too casual.

Hmm. 

“What’s up?” Holly was wiping Wren’s face up with a washcloth, then brushing each of Wren’s teeth individually. 

“How about we try putting her to bed in the crib tonight?”

“What, all night?” Dan looked confused.

They’d been transferring Wren to sleep in the crib in her nursery, slowly but surely, but usually they discussed it first.

“Well…,” said Ross, “I do really want to lick all that peach juice off of you, and we’ve all agreed it’d be weird to do anything physical when the baby is right there.”

“Well, yeah, true, we don’t wanna traumatize her,” Dan said, and Holly kissed Wren’s head again.

The baby was beginning to fall asleep already, clinging to Holly’s damp shirt. 

“We can bring her back with us when we’re done or when she wants feeding,” said Holly, her voice quiet. “Whichever comes first.”

“You know what’s gonna happen first,” said Ross, his voice going deeper. “Dan’s gonna go off like a fucking champagne cork.”

“What makes you think I’m gonna go off so hard?” Dan’s own voice was going husky.

He and Ross hadn’t been intimate in an age.

It was hard to be intimate in the house - with the constant cycle of needs that is a baby.

“You guys are going to start without me, I see,” said Holly. 

She stood on tiptoe, and she licked a bit of the peach juice off of Dan’s chin, then went towards the nursery.

“We don’t have to,” Ross called after her softly, so as not to wake Wren.

Dan kissed Ross.

He kissed Ross with all of his mouth, with his lips and his tongue, his big hands cradling Ross’s face, Ross’s cheekbones sharp against his palms. 

Ross moaned into the kiss, and he fisted his hands in Dan’s hair - it was long enough for Ross to grab now, and Ross ground against his thigh, then pulled back, and began to lick the peach juice off of Dan’s chin.

“... I don’t know if this is sexy or gross,” said Dan, and he was panting, sagging against the doorway of the bathroom. 

“It can’t be both?” Ross’s hands came around, and he squeezed Dan’s flat butt. 

Dan laughed, pressed his butt back into Ross’s hands, and he pressed closer, taking in the familiar scent, the familiar taste.

Ross was… at the very least, he was Dan’s boyfriend. 

He slept next to Dan - Dan slept smack dab in the middle, and sometimes he curled around Ross like a snail, and sometimes he was wrapped around Holly, but whenever he was wrapped up in darkness and blankets, both of their bodies were within touching reach of his own. 

They stumbled to the bedroom, and Dan pushed Ross onto the bed, crouching between his legs, unbuckling Ross’s pants and shoving them down around his ankles. 

Ross was wearing white boxers, and those got shoved down too, as Dan shoved Ross’s legs open wider, kissing up Ross’s pale thighs. 

He licked the crease of Ross’s thigh, and he moved inward, Ross’s pubes a bit ticklish against his tongue, Ross’s fingers coming to rest on the top of his head.

“Oh yeah,” Ross said, his voice thick. “I forgot how good your mouth felt.”

“I don’t blow you enough,” Dan said, taking Ross’s cock in his fist and licking the head with the flat of his tongue, “if you can just _forget_ how good I am.”

“I’m a forgetful m-m-man holy shit Dan!”

“Shh,” said Holly, tiptoeing in. “She just fell asleep.”

“S-s-sorry, your husband is trying to… fuck… trying to suck my… my brain out of my… oh my god.”

“Is there any room for me?”

Dan pulled off of Ross’s dick with a “pop” - Ross keened quietly - and he looked over at Holly.

She looked… a little dejected, a little worried.

Shit. 

“Baby,” Dan said, and he opened his arms to her.

She all but fell into them, and he staggered back, so that he was sitting on the bed, holding her in his lap, grinding his erection against her thigh, nuzzling into her neck as she straddled him. 

“I’m sorry, I’m not really sexy anymore,” Holly mumbled. “If you guys just want to -”

“Shush,” said Ross, and he took her by the chin, kissing her gently, tenderly. 

Dan kissed along her neck, his hands going to her breasts, holding them carefully in his hands, squeezing them, then pinching her nipples.

A bit of milk dribbled out, and he made a big show of licking it up - it was sweet and thick, almost like vanilla ice cream, and she made a startled noise when he did it.

He took her breast in his mouth, and he lapped at her nipple with the very flat of his tongue, then beginning to suck, very gently. 

Her nipple went hard, and more milk filled his mouth. He sucked it, carefully, then a bit more forcefully, and then he pulled off.

“Don’t wanna deprive Wren,” Dan mumbled. 

Holly pulled back, panting, and she laughed, clearly light headed. 

Ross was going for her neck now, tracing his fingers on that one spot on the back of her neck that always got her goosebump-y. 

“Don’t worry about that,” Holly said. “I’ve been overproducing, since I pumped so much.”

“It’s amazing, all the shit your body can do,” Dan said, awe in his voice. “It’s… fucking amazing.”

“You’re repeating yourself,” Ross said, and he took a handful of Holly’s breast for himself. 

Dan laughed, and he ground his erection up against Holly. 

“Can you blame me?”

“Not in the slightest,” said Ross, and he sucked a hickey into the soft skin right next to her neck, where it met her shoulder. 

She moaned like she was in pain, shuddering against Dan, and she ground harder.

“I wanna ride your cock,” she told Dan. 

“Yeah?” Dan licked his lips. “What about you, Ross?”

“Can I fuck your face?”

“I can see if I can fit it into my schedule,” Dan said, and Holly started giggling, which was just as lovely as her moans. 

There was some rearranging - Holly had to get the condoms out of the drawer, and Dan lost all of his clothes, as did Ross.

The two men were making out on the bed again, until Holly slapped Ross on the ass. 

He almost yelped, but remembered not to make any especially loud noise at just the right moment, because… well, nobody wants to be that prick that woke the baby. 

“If you’re gonna fuck his face, your dick has to be near his face,” Holly pointed out. 

“I was just getting him hard for you,” Ross said, his tone much more confident than a man who is bare ass naked really had a right to be. 

“I don’t need him to get me hard, I assure you,” said Dan, as Ross knee walked along his torso, until the head of Ross’s cock was pressing against his chin. 

He wished he could see Holly’s face as she rode him, but looking up at Ross, as Ross fucked his face… well, that was pretty awesome.

Dan had gotten pretty good at having his face fucked. 

He hadn’t realized what a talent it actually _was_ , until the first time he threw up on Arin.

But here he was, and Ross was using Dan’s mouth like a toy, as Dan held on to Ross’s hips. 

Holly was slowly rolling the condom over his dick, and the slow pace was almost torture, except he knew he was going to touch her, and that… that made it better. That made it worth it.

Fuck it, if Holly called everything off and said that she wanted to cuddle, he’d… well, he’d be disappointed, but he could go jerk off in the bathroom, or maybe ask Ross for a handy, and he’d come back and cuddle her.

“Dude,” said Ross, jolting Dan out of his reverie. “You’re in your head.”

“Mm?” Dan sucked on the side of Ross’s cock like he was trying to give it a hickey, holding the hot flesh in his hand, and he looked up at Ross and raised an eyebrow. “How can you tell?”

“Your eyes get dreamy and you go a bit slack jawed,” said Holly. 

She was straddling his thighs, rubbing the wet heat of her pussy against his shaft, her lips slick, her clit a hard point that he could feel even through the condom.

“ _Oh_ ,” said Holly, as the tip of his cock pressed into her.

Dan let his head fall back, his eyes squeezing shut, just taking in the heat. 

But then it was gone, and Holly made a distressed noise.

“I’m sorry,” she said thickly. “I don’t think… I’m not ready. I’m sorry.”

“Shh,” said Dan, and he nudged Ross off of his chest, sitting up.

He wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her chin, and he rocked her, as Ross crowded in, rubbing her back. 

“It’s okay,” Dan said into Holly’s pinkish hair. “It really is. I promise.”

Holly snuffled into his chest, and then she looked up at him, her green eyes a little shiny.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I feel like such a cock tease. And we should be sleeping, since we gotta go in the morning….”

“Do you want to go to sleep?” 

He hoped she didn’t.

“I don’t,” she said. “I want… I want to, like, have sex, but when I felt your penis start to go into me, I started to get… I dunno. Panicky. Weird.”

“You don’t have to stick a dick in you for it to be sex,” Ross pointed out.

“I want to play with his penis though,” said Holly. 

Dan grinned, and he kissed her forehead, with his swollen lips, the drool on his chin getting on the bridge of her nose. 

“How about… you can grind in me, like… dry humping,only not dry. Because we’re both naked.”

“Do you want me to take the condom off?”

“Please,” Dan said, his tone this side of desperate.

“You can jerk me off,” Ross said, ever the romantic.

“Which one of us are you talking to?”

“Both of you.” 

“... how is that gonna work?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” said Ross, with a lascivious grin. 

Dan rolled his eyes, but he was grinning as well. 

* * *

Holly was pressing against his shaft.

She was grinding against it, the head of his cock just barely touching her clit. 

Dan’s hand was on her thigh, holding on tightly as he thrust up into the heat, as she ground down.

It was like being a teenager, in a weird way. 

Horny, not wanting to have Actual Sex, but still basically having sex.

He was playing with Ross’s balls with his other hand, as Holly jerked her other husband off, squeezing pre-cum out with each pass of her palm over the head.

He moaned when Dan tugged on his balls, and Dan moaned harder, when Holly ground down, the hard press of her clit warm and sticky against the head of his cock. 

“Oh,” Holly said, her voice thick. “Oh, I forgot how hot it is.”

“You forgot how hot we are?” Ross grunted, his thrusting beginning to get faster. “I th-think the tour is a good idea, so you can remember how beautiful I am. Absence… oh fuck… absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that junk.”

“I’ll never forget how beautiful you are, I promise,” Holly said, her voice thick, and her hips were beginning to hunch forward, her knees pressing into Dan’s ribs. “Oh god, this is… it’s so….”

“Shhh,” Dan mumbled, as his own abdominal muscles began to flex.

He had almost no stamina. Not like he used to have, at any rate.

And Ross was beginning to swell and thicken, his balls heavy, beginning to draw up to his body.

Dan resisted the urge to pull them back down - as fun as that was, it was _not_ for a late night quicky like they were up to tonight. 

That was for… whenever Wren was able to be left alone for more than an hour at a time.

So, what, twenty years?

His own joke hit him, and he was grinning a little too widely, which got Holly looked at him funny, but then she was cumming, sending slick right down his shaft, then down his cock, puddling around his groin, then dripping down his balls. 

“Oh my god,” Holly panted, and then she was flopping down on top of him, her hand still clutching at Ross’s cock, although by this point, he was more fucking Holly’s hand then her jerking off, and Dan had graduated to awkwardly rubbing at his taint, which seemed to be getting to him. 

Dan humped up against Holly’s thigh, and then he was cumming, like he’d been hit in the back of the head with a blackjack, leaving him spurting cum across his belly, across her belly, until he was shaking like he had stuck his finger in light socket, and he was just flat on the bed. 

Ross came last, across Holly’s hand, and then she was an utter mess, cum on her belly, on her breasts, her own cum all over her stomach.

And then the baby monitor crackled to life, with the beginnings of Wren’s fussy noises.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Holly laughed through her nose. “Fuck. I can’t go to her like this.”

“Take a shower,” said Ross. “I’ll make the bed up again, Dan can deal with the baby.”

“You sure? You’re the least cum stained,” said Dan.

“... okay, yeah,” said Ross. “I’ll go get the baby, Dan can wipe down everything, and then he can shower while Holly nurses Wren.

“Look at you, being all organized,” Holly said, making her way to the bathroom.

“I do my best,” Ross said, in a tone that he probably thought was modest.

* * *

Dan ended up jumping in the shower with Holly, after he’d changed the sheets.

She was tired enough to be staring dazedly up at the ceiling, and he left her to it, because sometimes you need that kind of thing.

He rinsed off, washed his dick and his belly, then came out, drying off.

Ross was sitting on the clean bed, with Wren fussing on his chest. 

He was speaking to her, softly, and she was hitting her with her little fists.

“Mama,” she sobbed. 

“Mama’s gonna be here in a minute,” Dan said. “Can I hold her?”

“Sure,” said Ross, handing the squirmy infant over.

Dan was just wearing a pair of pajama pants, and he held her in his arms, her head against his shoulder, her little hands flailing as she mumbled. 

“Abba’s here,” Dan said quietly. “It’s me. I know. I’m sorry.”

“Abba,” Wren said, in her scratchy voice, and she grabbed for his hair. 

He let her hold his other hand, her hands wrapped around his finger. 

“You’re so little,” he whispered to her, into the curly red hair at the top of her hair. “How are you turning into a person already?”

She rested her head against his skin, ear to his collarbone, and he adjusted her a bit, so that she could listen to his heart.

That always calmed her down, and sure enough, she was calming down, her breathing slowing down, her eyes drifting shut.

“There we go,” Dan said quietly, as her breath ruffled his chest hair. “There we go, precious. That’s my little bird.”

Holly walked in, outlined by the brightness of the bathroom light, and he watched the two of them. 

“Is she hungry?” Holly’s voice was quiet.

“I don’t know,” Dan said, and he tried to keep his voice to the same tone and level that it was when he cooed at Wren. “She might have been lonely.”

“Well,” said Holly, and she climbed into bed next to Dan, resting her head on his shoulder and brushing her hand across Wren’s head, “we should probably put her down.”

Dan glanced at the alarm clock - it was almost eleven. 

“In a minute,” Dan mumbled, inhaling her scent, his eyes drifting shut. 

He was only faintly aware when Holly took Wren away with her, and he only barely made a protesting noise, before cuddling up to her, reaching out for Ross when the bed dipped down. 

He slept between two of his people, and he was content. 

* * * 

They got up early.

Holly nursed Wren and drank coffee, her eyes sleepy. 

She'd already said goodbye to all of the animals, kissing Feathers, whistling to Paco, snuggling the cats.

Dan was drinking his own coffee, his feet propped up on a chair, and he was eating a bagel.

"So where's the bus?" Holly yawned, and detached Wren from her breast, putting a rag over her still dripping nipple.

"Out by the office," said Dan. "Can I hold her?"

"Sure," said Holly. "You can burp her too." She tossed him the rag.

He sighed, and he put it over his shoulder, patting Wren on the back and aiming her for the rag.

She got it, most of the time.

"We should take her with us next time," said Dan. "I don't know if I can bear being away from her for a full two weeks!"

"It's not gonna be that bad," said Holly. She smiled crookedly. "At least you don't have to attach pumps to your nipples every morning."

Dan grinned. "I can, uh... substitute, if you'd like?"

"You'll get fat," said Holly. "I'm used to feeding the greedy guts."

"Abba," Wren said, and then she belched. 

Dan burst out laughing, and he kissed her on the cheek.

"We should teach you to say "Ralph"," he told her.

Holly wrinkled her nose. 

Dan glanced at the clock, and he sighed.

"I guess it's time we get going, huh?"

"Yeah," said Holly. 

She sounded oddly choked up, but she kissed the top of her daughter's head, then headed out to the car.

She'd said her goodbyes to Ross, and now he was asleep on the couch.

Dan leaned down and kissed the top of Ross's head, which woke him up.

"You're off?"

"Yeah."

"Have a good trip," said Ross, and he kissed Dan tenderly, his breath still rank from his sleep.

"We'll miss you," Dan said, and he kissed Wren again. 

She cooed at him, then yawned, snuggling up to Ross.

Dan got a lump in his throat. 

"I'll miss you, birdy," he told Wren. "Abba loves you, okay?"

"Abba."

And then he was off.

* * * 

"I'm gonna miss her too," said Holly, and she put a hand on Dan's knee, squeezing it, as he leaned back in the passenger seat.

"I feel dumb," Dan admitted, and he wiped his nose, then his eyes, which were streaming. 

"Why?"

"Like... she's more your baby than mine, so why am I so much sadder?"

Holly started the car, and backed out of the driveway.

"How is she more my baby than yours?"

"She's literally a part of your body -"

"She's a part of your body too," Holly pointed out. "Some of your body made her."

"Well, yeah, okay," said Dan, "but you carried her. Her cells are a little bit made of your cells. And you breastfeed her."

"She's both of our baby," said Holly. "She's also Ross's baby."

"She's gonna have his face," Dan said fondly. "I mean, she's got your mouth and my eyes, but she's making his faces already."

"She is certainly going to have an... exciting childhood," Holly said, and she sounded amused.

Dan leaned back into his chair, his eyes sliding shut.

He was exhausted. 

The excitement of the trip would hit him soon enough, but held the melancholy in his chest like smoke, and let it fill him up for a bit.

* * *

The bus was huge.

He knew it was big, but it always felt smaller on the inside, from all the traveling they did in it, and usually the TWRP guys were there with them, not just Brian and now the girls, and it was all... well, it was strange.

Suzy was sitting in the back, reading a book, and Dan could smell her perfume as soon as he took a step inside.

Arin was sleepy eyed and sitting at the table, staring down at his phone in a state of confusion.

Brian had his own chin in his hand, and he smiled at Holly.

"Is it always that hard to say goodbye to Audrey?" Dan's voice cracked, and he blushed as he flopped down at the table, as Holly went to choose her bunk. 

"Yeah," said Brian. "You don't really get used to it."

"Good," said Dan. "I don't want to get used to it."

* * * 

The drive was smooth, and Dan was two thirds asleep as soon as the bus started up.

Holly was sleeping, because of course she was. 

She didn't get a lot of chances to just catch some sleep, in her day to day life, so taking the chance while she had it made sense.

Maybe she'd be something like well rested by the end of the trip.

"Hey Bri," said Arin, "is this gonna be weird?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, you've got... like, a triad traveling with you, and also two couples."

"I don't know, Arin. Are you going to make it weird?"

"What would make it weird?" Dan laughed, a sudden honk of laughter, and he saw Holly's hand twitch, where it was dangling out of her bunk. 

"I mean," said Dan, when he had control of himself again, "you've literally stuffed sixty nine bras in your pants. Someone grabbed me by the dick. How much weirder could it get?"

"When I'm the only one not fucking anyone," Brian said.

"You're fucking your wife," Dan pointed out.

"You've all fucked each other," Brian said in a long suffering tone. "Some of us have more important things to worry about."

"You're just jealous," said Arin, and then he put his head in his arms, his eyes sliding closed.

Brian snorted, but his face looked... interesting.

Huh.

Dan would pursue that at a later date.

"I'm gonna catch a few "z's," said Dan, and he yawned as well. 

Exhaustion was crashing down on him, and if he didn't lie down soon he'd be sleeping on the table just like Arin was, which would be hell on his back.

"Amateurs," said Brian. 

Dan rolled his eyes, and he climbed into his own bunk, curling up in a ball and pulling a blanket over his head. 

It was weird to not have the familiar warmth of a body on either side of him, and the rocking of the bus was surprisingly calmly.

Was this what it felt like for Wren, when she was carried around? Something bigger than you moving, quiet, rhythmic sound....

He drifted off, his eyes shut, his arms hugging himself. 

* * * 

He woke up when the bus stopped.

“What?” Dan sat up, hit his head on the top of his bunk, and nearly fell out.

Stupid bus.

“We’re having lunch,” said Arin. 

“Where are we?”

“Halfway to Phoenix,” said Brian. 

Holly sat up as well, and she stretched like a cat, her back arching.

Dan’s heart melted a little bit. 

“What kinda place is this?”

“No idea,” said Arin, as they all made themselves presentable. 

Suzy didn’t have to do anything, because of course she didn’t.

Arin brushed his hair, Holly rubbed her eyes and put her shoes back on, Dan tried to make his own hair look presentable. 

And then they were all disembarking, a bit wobbly from all the napping.

The place managed to be a hole in the wall, without there being a wall for it to be in, which was quite a feat.

They all sat around the table, and they ate crepes, because of course there would be a creperie in the middle of the highway on the way to Phoenix.

Dan got his with bananas and chocolate sauce, and the sweetness of it was enough to make his lips curl.

Holly, with goat cheese and spinach, was perking up.

“How do you eat all of that, for lunch?”

“You like how sweet it makes me, baby,” Dan said, and he made smacking kissing noises in her direction.

Arin, who was sitting next to Dan, leaned over and kissed him loudly on the cheek.

It was loud enough that Dan’s ear rang, and he shifted over, ending up bumping into Brian. 

Brian elbowed him in the side. 

Dan elbowed him back.

“Wren is more mature than you,” Holly informed Dan, but she was grinning.

“Well, maybe she hasn’t grown enough spine yet,” said Dan. 

“She’ll get attitude. Trust me.” Brian looked a bit haggard around the edges for a minute, and then he took a bite out of his crepe.

Dan noticed that Holly was holding Suzy’s hand under the table, the both of them eating their crepes with their hands, Suzy daintily, Holly… less so. 

They were both very beautiful, although any real sexual attraction towards Suzy was crushed beneath the knowledge that they were _horrible_ together.

Some small part of him was curious to try it out again.

Not hugely curious, though.

“So are you ladies gonna watch the show?”

“I’d be willing to,” Holly said, “although not every night.”

“We’re gonna hit Vegas on our own,” Suzy said happily. “Two ladies, hitting the strip!”

“I wouldn’t say no to a bit of a strip,” Arin said, and he waggled his eyebrows.

“... who are you even talking to?” Dan gave Arin a sidelong look, trying not to burst out laughing. 

“Everyone, duh,” said Arin.

“Am I part of this everyone?” Brian raised an eyebrow, his expression sardonic.

“You know it,” said Arin, and he was most _definitely_ smirking. “C’mon, give us some of that silver fox bod.”

“Please don’t ever say “silver fox” again, Ar,” said Dan, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend’s middle and squeezing him. 

“Why not?”

“Just… don’t.”

“It’s a porno term,” Suzy chirped, her expression cheery.

“You watch a lot of porn, then,” Holly said, and she sounded amused.

“Arin does,” Suzy said, and Arin didn’t even have the courtesy to look embarrassed. 

“I can’t really deny it,” said Arin. “We’ve literally watched porn right before a show.”

“That weird porno with the armpits doesn’t count,” Dan said. 

“What weird porno with the armpits?” Holly looked somewhere between disgusted and intrigued. 

“I can show it to you, if you’d like,” said Arin, reaching for his phone.

“No!” Suzy, Dan, and Holly all said at the same time. 

“I’d be interested,” Brian said, and his expression was so deadpan that Dan didn’t even know if he was pulling Arin’s chain or not. 

“I’ll show it to ya later,” Arin promised. 

“I don’t wanna lose my appetite,” Holly said. 

“You’re a wuss,” Arin said, pointing an accusing finger.

“I’m sorry,” Holly said. “When was the last time you changed a diaper?”

“Last week,” Arin said defensively. “When we played D &D at your place, remember?”

“Yeah,” said Holly. “Well… I changed a diaper… six hours ago.” She looked triumphant. “I’ve had my fill of gross, thank you very much. I am _not_ a wuss!”

“Okay,” Arin said, and he looked genuinely contrite. “I’m sorry for insinuating your wussitude.”

“It’s alright,” said Holly.

Arin took one of her hands - the one not being held by Suzy - and he kissed her knuckles.

Holly blushed, and Dan smiled.

It was weird, being so… okay with the love of his life being romantic with someone else.

Maybe because he was also in love with the someone else?

Who knew.

Why examine it, though?

Dan sighed, and he took another bite of his crepe, contentment creeping into his bones as the sweetness spread across his tongue like ripples in a pond. 

* * * 

Dan got dressed in the green room, and Holly sat on the couch, watching him.

He turned around, doing a little shimmy, and she smiled at him, her whole face lighting up.

“Dan,” said Suzy, who was adjusting Arin’s belt for him, as he combed his hair, “let me touch up your makeup a bit.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing, I just… think I can make it look better,” said Suzy, defensive.

“I trust her,” said Dan.

“Well, okay,” said Holly. 

“Are you doubting my skills, darling?” Suzy was smirking like a cat.

Holly snorted, but she went back to scrolling through her phone.

* * * 

It was a bit… odd to have Suzy this close, but she was just adding a bit of glitter to him, and adding to his eyeliner.

And then Holly squealed. 

“Dan, you gotta see this,” said Holly, and she was smiling so wide.

Dan stood up to sit next to her, crowding onto the couch, hip to hip. 

It was a video, of Wren crawling on Dan, Holly, and Ross’s bedroom floor, then grabbing the hamper and pulling it over.

She grabbed one of Dan’s old t-shirts, the one he had worn the day before yesterday, and she snuggled it.

“Abba! Abba!”

“Oh,” Dan said, and he had to clench his fist to keep from tearing up and ruining his makeup. 

“Wren misses you guys,” said Ross, and the camera turned around, so that they were looking up at his face. “I miss you too. Break a leg, Dan! Only not really. I don’t wanna have to help you piss.”

Ross - shyly- blew a kiss to the camera, and then the video was done.

Dan was smiling so hard his face hurt, and then Brian was sticking his head into the room.

“Ready?”

“Let’s do this,” said Dan, and he stood up. 

* * * 

“I wanna dedicate this song to the best little girl in the world, Firefly Sexbang!” 

* * * 

“Well,” said Holly, as Dan slumped back into his makeup chair, “that went well.”

“Yeah, apart from the guy who threw a beer bottle at me,” Dan grumbled.

“It missed,” Brian said blithely.

“Easy for you to say,” Dan grumbled.

“What’s the plan after this?” Holly stood up, leaning over Dan, her hands in his hair. 

Her fingers were warm and dry in his hair. 

“What do you mean by after this?” Arin made a face as he wrung out his own sweaty hair. 

“Well,” said Holly, “I need to pump.”

“We’re gonna go to dinner,” said Brian. “How about we take your order, and you can have the bus to yourself for two hours?”

“That sounds good,” said Holly, and she smiled, grateful.

“You want some company, pidge?”

She met his eyes in the mirror, and then she smiled. 

“Sounds good,” said Brian. “I’ll give you guys some alone time. Just fuck in your own bunk.”

“What makes you think we’re gonna fuck?”

“Holly’s had enough sleep and you guys are gonna be alone,” said Brian. “It’s kind of obvious.”

“Are you jealous?” Arin teased. “I’m sure I can fit you into my busy schedule.”

And Brian… blushed.

Holy shit. 

What was it that Arin was doing, to actually kneecap Brian like that?

Dan would have to learn his tricks. 

But that wasn’t what he was thinking right now.

He was going to have two hours with Holly to himself.

* * * 

“It’s not letting down,” said Holly, half an hour later.

The two of them were sitting at the table, and Holly had a breast pump on her nipple. 

“What do you mean?”

“My milk. It’s not letting down.” She groaned. “It’s… I’m gonna fuckin’... pop.” 

Her eyes were red, and she looked exhausted. 

She was overstimulated, possibly. 

“Well,” said Dan, “you’ve been looking at pictures of Wren, and she’s already asleep so we can’t call.”

“And her shirt isn’t working.” Holly sighed, putting the little piece of fabric down. “What else works?”

“Orgasm?” 

“... seriously?” She gave him a Look.

“That can help,” said Dan defensively. “Look it up! It releases feel good hormones!”

“I do leak sometimes when I masturbate,” she admitted, looking a bit shy. 

“There we go then!” Dan paused, and the next words were hard to say, but… well, he was going to do the right thing.

“If you don’t want to do anything physical with me, you can rub one out, and I can go join everyone else and get my food?”

“Aw, Dan….” Holly’s face wobbled, and she kissed him. “It’s okay. I’d be okay with you helping me cum.”

“I am kinda gross,” Dan warned.

“It’s okay,” said Holly, and she took his hand, pressing his palm against her cheek, then kissing it. “So… you wanna try it?”

He grinned, with all of his teeth. 

* * * 

The bunks were small and cramped, but they both squeezed in. 

Dan’s legs were almost dangling out the side, and Dan’s face was in Holly’s pussy.

Dan licked and kissed along her thighs, nibbling and sucking, and she was whimpering on top of him. 

The breast pump was right next to her. 

She whimpered when he pushed her panties aside, and he licked her, from taint to clit, then back down again.

“ _Oh!_ ” She arched her back, her hands in her own hair, then on her face. “Oh my… fuck, Dan, don’t stop, oh….”

She was getting wetter, her toes were curling against his ears, her heels in his shoulders, and she was already humping up into his face, as she got closer, her clit pressed against his nose.

He opened his mouth wider, and he pressed his tongue into her pussy, lapping up the slick, and then he was slurping louder, as her keening got louder.

“Dan, I’m so close, how… oh… I….”

She came. 

She came, and then there was a surprised noise, and she sat up, even as her inner muscles were still quivering around nothing, and he looked up at her with his face musky. 

She was leaking, milk dripping out of her breasts, and when Dan looked up at her, she was giggling. 

“Can I help?” Dan licked his lips.

“How do you wanna help?”

“I’ve been curious about what it tastes like,” Dan said, a bit awkward. “And like… what it would be like to nurse.”

“... you want to nurse?” Holly looked legitimately surprised. 

“Well, what else were you gonna do with it?” 

“I figured I’d freeze some of it for Wren, and maybe… I dunno, use it for coffee creamer or something.”

“Coffee creamer,” Dan said flatly.

Holly shrugged, looking embarrassed. 

“So can I?”

“... sure,” said Holly. “Why not?”

* * * 

She cradled his head, and he latched onto her nipple, sucking it carefully. 

It tasted a bit like melted vanilla ice cream, minus the vanilla, and she sighed as he began to drink, milk dripping down his chin, kneading at her breast gently. 

He swallowed it carefully, savoring the flavor, until she made him switch sides.

By the time she was fully drained, he had a stomach ache. 

‘Wow,” said Holly. “I didn’t know you could drink that much.”

“Ask Arin,” Dan said, and then he belched loudly. 

Then he made a face.

He wasn’t going to need dinner, as full as he was.

No wonder Wren was such a little butter ball.

* * * 

By the time everyone came back, they were both fully dressed, clean, and Dan was only marginally stomach ache-y. 

Dan only got the minimal amount of ribbing. 

* * * 

Suzy and Arin shared a bunk that night. 

Dan rolled his eyes, but he was grinning a bit in spite of himself, when he heard the familiar sound of Arin’s orgasm, then the less familiar squeal of Suzy’s. 

Holly was in the bunk under Dan’s, and one of his arms dangled down, to pat the curtain that was giving Holly privacy. 

She didn’t respond, but he heard her familiar squeaky little snore. 

He grinned, and burrowed down into his bunk, closing his eyes. 

* * * 

Las Vegas was… something.

They arrived early, and Holly and Suzy disappeared to do who even knew what.

“You gotta keep me outta the casino,” Arin told Dan. 

“Yeah?”

“My fingers get… itchy,” said Arin, and he looked embarrassed.

“They make creams for that, you know,” said Brian. 

“It sounds so… dirty, when you say it like that,” said Arin. 

“So wanna go to a museum or something?”

“Let’s just wander around,” said Arin. “I can show you the good places to get food.”

“Where are Suzy and Holly?”

“Off doing who knows what,” said Arin. “They’ll be back in time for the show.”

“Well, okay,” said Dan. 

“Wanna go get some food?”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

* * * 

They had sushi.

Arin and Dan sat pressed together, and Brian was opposite them, making witty comebacks and inhaling his food like a bipedal vacuum cleaner. 

“That’s a bit unsettling,” Arin said. 

“You’re one to talk,” Dan said, as he nibbled on a tuna roll.

“Do I complain about your own weird bodily habits?” Brian raised an eyebrow. 

“You complain about my farting all the time,” Arin pointed out.

“There’s a difference between farting and eating quickly.”

“Doesn’t one cause the other?”

“What? No!”

Dan kept eating his sushi.

Something was going on between those two, although Dan didn’t exactly know what it was. 

He wasn’t going to poke it too hard - Brian might have been his best friend, and Arin might have been his boyfriend, but if they wanted to start carrying on or whatever else they kept looking at each other about, that would be their own business.

He savored the taste of sushi, of Brian’s dry laughter, and Arin’s warm thigh pressed against his own. 

Things would be crazy pretty soon.

* * * 

Holly came into the dressing room with a bandage wrapped around her wrist, looking a little wobbly.

“Holy shit!” 

Dan stood up, and he wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head, then taking her wrist in his own hand. “What happened?!”

“I got a tattoo,” Holly said, and she smiled at him. “Exciting, huh?”

“... what? Why?”

“Because I wanted one,” Holly said sharply. 

“I’m sorry,” Dan said. “I just, uh… usually you tell me when you do a new body mod. Since we got married, I mean.”

“I haven’t gotten a new body mod since we got married,” Holly pointed out. It looked like she was clenching her teeth.

“Well, yeah, but -” 

“Could you guys continue this conversation later?” Arin looked a little harried. “We’re about to go on stage.”

“Sorry,” Dan said, and he kissed Holly.

She kissed him back, and then they were on stage.

* * * 

He scanned the crowd for his wife, but she wasn’t there.

She was back at the bus when they had finished, pumping, and Dan bit back his anxiety.

Holly needed her own space sometimes. This was okay.

So he laughed and he flirted with Arin, letting the other man back him into a utility closet and kiss him silly. 

They came out, disheveled, and then all trooped back to the bus, presumably to figure out what they were gonna do about dinner.

Holly was sitting at the table, reading a book. 

She looked up at Dan when he walked in, and she smiled, cautiously. 

He smiled back at her. 

“I’m sorry I was a jerk,” he told her.

“I accept your apology,” said Holly, and she kissed him. 

“How’s your boobs?”

“Sore,” said Holly. “I hate that pump.”

Dan made a sympathetic noise.

“Can I ask… can I ask why you decided to get a tattoo?”

“Well, Suzy pointed out that this is gonna be the only time in a while I’m not gonna be changing diapers or cleaning up after pigeons, so I might as well get a tattoo right now, so that it would have a chance to heal.”

“... that makes sense,” said Dan, and he laughed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” said Holly. “You already apologized. And before you ask, I did all the research. This won’t do anything about my breastfeeding, everything will be okay.”

“Okay,” said Dan, and he kissed her wrist delicately. “You gonna tell me what you got?”

“You’ll see when I take the bandage off,” Holly said, ever mysterious. 

Dan snorted, and he kissed her. 

* * * 

They ate dinner in the bus that night, pizza and soda and water and juice. 

Holly was cuddled up to Dan, and Brian sat with his elbows on the table, eating his pizza like Pac Man. 

"So didja have fun wandering around Vegas?" 

"Oh, yeah, definitely," said Holly. "It'll probably be a lot more fun than Salt Lake City, at any rate."

"I'm still amazed you managed to book anything there," said Suzy, delicately taking a piece of pepperoni off of her pizza and feeding it to Arin.

He kissed her fingertips, and she smiled.

Dan glanced at Brian, and found him looking thoughtfully at Arin.

He was gonna have to talk to Brian about that soon. There had been a lot of looks like that lately, and Dan wasn't sure if Brian knew that he was giving them. 

"I need to pump," said Holly, and she was blushing. "I'll, uh... I'll be in the bathroom."

"No, that's not fair," said Brian. "I'll go sit outside." He indicated their camp chairs. 

"You sure? I don't want you to feel like you can't hang out in your own space," said Holly.

"It's hardly a bother," said Brian. "We can have one less person farting in an enclosed space."

"I think you'd need to kick out Arin," said Dan, and he was snickering. 

Arin stuck his tongue out. 

"But yeah," said Brian. "I'm gonna go outside, go admire the city from a distance."

"That sounds ominous, when you put it like that," said Suzy, and she was giggling.

Brian did his best Ninja Brian impression, which was less unsettling when his mouth could be seen.

* * *

Holly had the pump attached to her breast, and was looking at a picture of Wren and chatting with Ross. 

Their daughter was sleeping on his chest, and after Dan had said "hi", he went out to talk with Brian.

Brian was indeed sitting on a folding canvas camp chair, looking out at the luminous star in front of them, which throbbed like a migraine. 

"Hey," said Dan, setting up his own chair and sitting next to Brian. 

"Hi," said Brian. "Any particular reason you're joining me?"

"Needed some air," said Dan, which was kind of true.

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes, and then Brian cleared his throat.

"Hey, Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you... actually, never mind." 

Brian sounded... nervous.

Huh.

"Nah man, tell me," Dan said. "I promise I won't judge."

For once, Brian didn't take the bait and offer some ridiculous thing that was _definitely_ a thing that would bring about judgement. Instead he just spoke, slowly, carefully.

"How did you realize you were polyamorous?"

"... huh."

"I'm sorry," said Brian, and he sounded genuinely regretful. "That was rude of me to -"

"Nah man, don't worry about it," said Dan. "I'm just, uh... trying to figure out a way to phrase it." 

"Right," said Brian. 

"I... didn't exactly figure it out?" Dan stretched out, his long legs in front of him, his hands behind his head.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," said Dan, "I fell in love with Holly kinda hard and fast, out of the blue. And I knew that she was... available, although it sounds so skeezy when I describe it like that. But, like... I fell in love with Holly, and it wasn't like she's dating some weirdo, she's dating Ross, and Ross is... he's Ross, you know? I _know_ Ross, and he's my friend, so why not?"

"So it would have been different if you didn't know all participants?"

"No," said Dan. "It would have been different if it wasn't Holly."

Brian snorted. 

"But what about Arin and Ross?"

"Well, Arin kinda... I mean, even the fans see it," said Dan, and he laughed, a bit self conscious to say this shit out loud. "We've got... like, really good chemistry. And I guess once Arin realized it was an option, he went for it. And Ross... c'mon, we've got the most amazing person in the world in common."

"Being married has turned you into a veritable ball of cheese," Brian said dryly.

Dan snorted, and he prodded Brian in the side. 

"So why do you ask?"

"I've been... considering some things," said Brian. "I always thought that polyamory was incompatible with raising a child, but I'm seeing that you and Holly and Ross seem to be doing a good job of it." 

Dan blushed, genuinely touched.

"Well, thank you, Bri. It means a lot, hearing that from you." 

"I mean it, though," said Brian, and he turned to look at Dan, his blue eyes intense. "I'd be... interested in polyamory. Possibly. But I don't know. Rachel has expressed an interest in it, in the past, but we're both busy, and there's Audrey...."

"I mean, it's not a race," Dan said, and now this felt a bit... awkward. "It's not like there's a... waiting list or something. You get into it when you're ready."

"I'm kind of surprised that you're handing out such reasonable advice," Brian said, "since before you got together with Holly, you could barely make a relationship more than a year."

Dan blushed, shame hot on his face.

"Well," said Dan, "people change."

Brian nodded. 

"Indeed."

* * *

They came back into the bus, half an hour later, to find Suzy and Arin both staring at a bottle of breast milk, as Holly stayed in her bunk, talking quietly with Arin.

"What's it taste like?" Suzy sounded genuinely curious. 

"Well," said Dan, sliding his long body into the booth next to Arin, until they were hip to hip, "I've only ever had it on tap."

"Don't call me a tap," Holly called from her bunk.

"I'd tap that," Arin called back cheerfully.

Even with her headphones in, they could all hear Ross cackling. 

Dan snorted, and he pressed a loud kiss to Arin's temple, right above his ear.

"Ow, okay, that was, like, really loud," grumbled Arin, rubbing his ear. 

"Why are we all staring like this?" Holly had apparently ended her conversation - there had been a lot of birb voice, presumably as Ross toured the pigeon loft and said hi to everyone. 

"They wanna know what it tastes like," said Dan.

"Like milk? I dunno." Holly sat next to Suzy, and Suzy patted the bandage on the inside of Holly's wrist gently. 

"Nah, more like... melted vanilla ice cream," said Dan, his voice thoughtful. 

"Just how much of this stuff have you had?" Arin looked interested. 

"A fair amount," Dan said. "I mean, how can I not? Holly's boobs are fucking amazing."

"Thanks for that," said Brian dryly. "As the only person other than our driver who has not seen Holly's boobs, I really appreciate hearing that."

Their driver was knocked out in his bunk, snoring quietly. 

Holly grinned.

"I thought you'd seen a nude I sent Dan by accident," said Holly, and she didn't even sound shy, just amused. 

"Well, yes, but that's different than seeing something in person," Brian said. "I have never _interacted_ with your breasts."

"Hey Bri," said Arin, and he held on to the bottle, popping it open. "Dare me to take a shot?"

"... doesn't milk make you pukey?" Holly raised an eyebrow. 

"Aren't you gonna be able to get it on ta - from the source, at some point?" Dan’s tone was thoughtful.

Holly blushed bright red and shot him a Look. 

"I just mean, well, you know, you guys are fucking, which isn't a bad thing, just...."

"Quit while you're ahead," Suzy suggested, her tone kind. "You're just digging yourself deeper."

"I dunno," said Dan. "I'm sure I could find a way to dig myself even deeper, if I really tried."

"That would explain a few things," said Brian.

They all looked at him, confused. 

Brian shrugged, looking a bit self conscious. 

"I'm tired," he said, defensive. "They can't all be winners."

"Let's do shots," said Arin. 

"Of breast milk?!" Holly looked incredulous. 

"Sure!"

"We don't have any alcohol to mix it with," said Brian.

"Well, three of us don't drink, so that won't be a problem," Suzy shot back. 

"She does have a point there," said Dan. 

"... fuck it," Brian said philosophically, and he pulled the bottle towards him. "Let's do it."

* * *

Brian took the first shot, and he looked thoughtful. 

"Well? What do you think?"

"It's sweeter than Rachel's was," Brian said, his tone deadpan.

"You've tasted it before! Why are you trying it?"

"I wanted to get into the spirit of things," said Brian. He pushed the bottle towards Holly. "How about you try it?"

"I make the stuff," said Holly. "Why would I need to try it?"

"Have you ever tried it?" 

"Well, no," said Holly.

"C'mon," said Suzy, and she was grinning. "Do it!"

Holly heaved a deep sigh, and she took a shot.

Then she started to cough.

"Oh my god," Holly groaned, "that is _thick_!" 

Arin opened his mouth, no doubt to make some kind of dirty comment, and Suzy kicked him. 

Dan laughed. 

"I'll go next," said Suzy, and she took the bottle, taking a cautious sip, then a swig.

"... that is like vanilla ice cream," said Suzy, her expression thoughtful. 

"Told ya," said Dan. 

"Well," said Arin, "why don't you take a shot?"

"I've had it before," Dan pointed out. "Why don't you try it?"

"... fine," said Arin, and he took the bottle and... drank the whole thing.

"Jesus christ, that's like drinking cream," Arin said, after he'd swallowed it all and coughed.

"You've drunk cream before," said Dan, and he waggled his eyebrows and pointed at his dick. 

"That's not drinking cream," Brian said. "That's swallowing it."

"Isn't drinking and swallowing the same thing?"

"No, swallowing is a reflexive action. Drinking is voluntary."

"Well," said Arin, and he nudged Suzy to let him out of the booth, "I'm gonna go voluntarily brush my teeth, then hit the hay."

"I'm kinda bushed too," said Dan, and he yawned. 

"Sleep well, fuzz face," said Holly, and then she yawned wider.

"Do you need help with your tattoo?" Dan's voice was shy.

The last two times she'd gotten a tattoo, he'd helped her with it. 

"Yeah, thanks," said Holly. "Just waiting for Arin to get out of the bathroom." 

* * *

The bathroom was small, and they barely fit. 

Dan carefully removed the bandage, holding her wrist in his own big hand, and he covered his fingers in soap, and gently rubbed the soap along the inside of her wrist, feeling the tendons flex and the beat of her heart.

It was... a small brown bird?

"It's a wren," Holly said, and she was blushing. 

"... oh," said Dan, and he was... he was touched, all of his emotions bubbling up.

He washed the tattoo for her, patted it dry, applied the lotion.

Then he kicked her out of the bathroom, so he could take a piss and brush his teeth.

(It wasn't like he was afraid to pee in front of her, but not in quarters this... close). 

* * *

Salt Lake City was... nice enough. 

He was beginning to fall into a routine, which was a weird thing to think about. 

But Holly came to the show, and so did Suzy, and then they went back to the bus and ate dinner, and they went to sleep.

The same happened in Cheyenne, and in Sioux Falls, and in Des Moines.

He face timed with Wren, babbling at her, and she cooed at him, reaching out to pat the camera. 

He made out with Arin in a utility closet.

* * * 

The day they arrived in Chicago, Holly looked at him sidelong, and she was blushing. 

"What's up, pidge?" Dan finished his bagel, brushing crumbs off of his chest. 

"Would it be alright if me and Suzy went on a date tonight? Instead of going to the show, I mean."

"Yeah," said Dan. "That'd be fine. Have fun, pigeon." He kissed her. 

She kissed him back, smiling.

* * * 

Brian, it turned out, had an old friend in Chicago, and after the show (which was full of thunderous applause and a lot of teenage girls), it was just Arin and Dan.

"Wanna go out?" 

"I dunno," said Dan. "We've got the whole room to ourselves...." 

Their driver was off visiting his own family, and they were actually staying in a hotel, which was a minor miracle - it felt good to be able to take an actual bath.

Dan and Holly were sharing a room, and Suzy, Brian, and Arin were sharing a room.

But right now, everyone was out and about, and that meant... well....

* * * 

Dan kissed Arin.

He kissed him properly, not just a little peck on the lips, but a full on making out kiss, hands buried in Arin's silky hair, his tongue sliding into Arin's mouth, his teeth nibbling at Arin's lips.

He was on top of Arin, and they were rutting against each other lazily, Dan's cock out, Arin's still in his pants.

"You know what I wanna do?" Arin pulled back, a piece of sweaty hair stuck to his face, 

"Me?"

"Well, actually," said Arin, wearing a calculating expression.

"You _don't_ want to do me?"

"Oh, I do," said Arin, "but I was thinking that maybe... you could do me."

Dan raised an eyebrow.

He was tired from the show, they hadn't actually eaten yet, and he didn't know if he had the energy to actually... well, work at sex.

"No, listen," Arin said, catching Dan's look. "I took a massive shit like... half an hour ago-"

"Thanks for that, Arin," said Dan. 

"And I've got lube and condoms," Arin said, talking over Dan. "So I could totally ride your dick into the next century."

"The next century, huh?"

"You know it."

"Well," said Dan, "I'd be willing to try it."

They'd never had actual sex before. 

Buttsex.

Which made some of this even funnier, because... well, he did talk a lot about buttsex.

A whole lot about it.

"What do you need me to do, Ar?"

* * *

Arin rode Dan's fingers. 

He had brought gloves as well - had he planned all of this? - and he gave Dan one of them, and he rode Dan's fingers like he was riding dick.

He was going to be riding dick, and that was an exciting prospect, making Dan's cock twitch.

It wasn't like Dan hadn't fantasized about this a million times - more than a million, in all honesty - but... holy fuck. 

Arin was tight and hot, even as Dan slowly added another finger, and he was twitching around Dan's fingers.

"I'm... I'm ready," Arin said, a few minutes later.

"Ready to take my fat cock?" Dan licked his lips, trying to hide his nervousness.

Holy shit, he was going to be having actual sex with Arin.

Like, actual gay sex.

Bisexual sex?

"Does this count as gay sex?" 

"... what?" Arin, busy spreading more lube across Dan's cock, paused, giving Dan an odd look.

"Because we're both, like, bi, or something," said Dan, as Arin slid the condom down, humping up into Arin's hand. 

"Well, yeah, fair," said Arin. "I guess we could just call it buttsex?"

"But what differentiates the buttsex from the buttsex I'd have with a woman?"

Arin made an annoyed noise, and he sat down on Dan's cock.

No other way to describe it - he just took it all in, at once, and it was... it was intense.

"Well," Arin said, and his voice was thick, "for one, I've got my dick out."

"Some girls have dicks," Dan pointed out, not moving, barely breathing, because his dick was twitching inside of Arin's ass.

It had been a while since he'd been in anything hot and wet and tight, that wasn't a mouth. 

It had been a _very_ long time since he'd been inside of someone's ass, and it was as lovely as he remembered. 

"They don't have my dick," Arin pointed out, and he rolled his hips clumsily. 

"Holy fuck, Ar," mumbled Dan, and he was holding on to Arin's hips as Arin just... rode him.

How was Arin even doing that? He had to be as exhausted as Dan was, they'd both been running around the stage like maniacs.

Where had he got the practice? He was doing amazing things with his muscles, with his hips.

"Suzy... Suzy likes it when I ride her," Arin panted, and he squeezed Dan's cock inside of himself. "I just like to... put on a show for her. So she can really enjoy it."

"I'll have to... thank her," Dan mumbled, and he tried to thrust up harder, panting heavily, through his nose. 

"Fuck, Ar, you feel so good, it's been... a while...."

Arin's cock, which had gone soft when Dan had penetrated him, was getting hard again, and Dan grabbed it, planting his own feet on the bed so that he could thrust up better.

Arin's cock was hot and slippery, familiar, and he squeezed Dan in new and interesting ways when Dan squeezed it, his palm against the head of Arin's cock, and Arin just moaned and moaned, his face red. 

Dan grabbed at Arin's shoulders, forcing the other man closer, and he started thrusting harder, kissing Arin, his own hips curling a bit, adding more friction, more of that glorious heat and tightness. 

Arin was whimpering into Dan's mouth, and he was actually shaking, and that was amazing, his cock was leaking across Dan's stomach, the wet, sticky head rubbing across the flat planes, and he was beginning to get tighter, his forehead pressed against Dan's, his sweaty hair sticking to Dan's face.

Dan's own orgasm came in for a sneak attack, and it got him right in the back, like a thrown knife.

Dan came. 

He came sweet fire, right down his back, filling his whole body up with it, leaving him a limp, twitching mess, panting flat on the bed, and Arin moaned, squeezing down on Dan.

Arin sat up entirely, and Dan began to jerk him off in earnest, using his whole hand and his wrist, until Arin was cumming across his belly, across his chest, leaving him a sticky mess, slick with Arin's sweat.

"Holy fuck," Dan groaned, as Arin squeezed him out, still twitching.

"You want me to get a pope hat or something?" 

Arin started laughing, and he fell sideways onto the bed, still cackling.

Dan joined in, covering his face with both hands, still laughing, so hard that he couldn't breathe. 

"You're fucking amazing at buttsex," Arin said, when they both had caught their breath. 

"I've got lots of practice," Dan said, and he began to chuckle again. "Although a pope hat isn't holy for me. We'd have to get a red cow or something, for a truly holy fuck."

"... what?"

* * * 

“Hello, Cleveland,” Dan sang out, as they passed the sign saying they were entering it. “And hello baby,” Dan said, right into the iPad. 

Wren, newly bathed and wrapped in a towel in Barry’s lap, cooed and chuckled up at him, then shrieked when Holly came into view. 

“Hi,” said Holly, leaning with her head against Dan’s shoulder. “Hi, birdie.”

“Hi,” said Barry, and he smiled. “Ross and Morgan are cooking up something or other for dinner, so I was put on baby duty.”

“So you’re not already at the house for baby duty?” 

Wren reached out for the iPad, and Barry carefully pulled it away. 

“Ross invited me over,” said Barry, and maybe he was blushing. 

“How’s Wren been?”

“No questions on how I’ve been?” Ross came into frame, sitting next to Barry, hip to hip, and he reached for the baby, pulling her into his lap and kissing her. “She learned a new word!”

“Oh yeah? What’s her new word?” 

“Wrenny,” said Barry, and his voice took on a sweet tone, “Wrenny, who’s that?”

“Da!”

Something in Dan’s chest twisted - he’d missed it.

Oh. 

“And… who’s that?” 

“Abba!”

“Good girl.” 

“Mama?” 

“Yes, Mama too.”

“We’ll be back home in nine days,” Dan promised. 

“Nine days,” agreed Barry.

Holly and Dan were filled in on things about the animals, about Wren - filled in about all of the stuff that is fascinating and vital to those living in a house, but boring as hell for anyone not involved. 

The birds were good, the baby was good, Grumps themselves were good… everything was going pretty well. 

Dan missed his home like a hole in his heart - missed Ross, which surprised him a bit. He knew he’d miss Ross, but he didn’t realize how much he’d gotten used to the snarky little shit.

“So what’s the plan for Cleveland? Gonna go looking for Mark’s relatives?”

“... what?” 

Ross held Wren to his chest, rubbing her back, and then he made a face. 

“She just peed on me,” he said, in a resigned tone of voice.

“That’s your own fault, for keeping her naked,” said Holly.

“She doesn’t pee on you!” Ross said, defensively. 

“Yeah, because I keep her diapered,” said Holly. “I’ll leave you guys to bedtime. I love you, birdy.”

“Abba loves you, Wren!” Dan blew a kiss, not even self conscious about it. 

The iPad winked off, and Dan leaned back, stretching like a cat. 

“I wanna get a buckeye,” said Suzy.

“What’s a buckeye?” Holly looked interested. “I know it’s a kind of tree….”

“You’ll see,” Suzy said cheerfully. 

* * * 

The show was loud. 

Very loud.

People threw things on stage, and Dan tried not to trip, and people laughed and danced and cried, and it was as magical as it always was. 

* * * 

Holly and Suzy were on the bus when he came back, and he took a shower, because he knew in his bones that he stank, then came out to be social, 

There were a bunch of cartons full of middle Eastern food, and a plate covered in… something. 

They looked like some kind of nut, at first glance, but they were very clearly food. 

“Can I eat these?” Dan poked one.

It was cold.

“Yeah,” said Holly. “Go for it, babe.”

She was eating some falafel, rather sloppily, sauce dripping down her front. 

Which reminded him….

“Do you want us to clear out, so you can pump? There’s a place that’s selling weird ice cream we could go check out.”

“No, I’m good,” said Holly, and she blushed.

Dan raised an eyebrow, and then he saw that Suzy was picking at her food, and he grinned. 

“So you got a taste, huh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Suzy said, but she pushed her salad to the side and yawned widely.

Brian raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. 

He seemed pensive.

“You okay?” Dan shot him a concerned look.

Arin was falling asleep into his shawarma, and he jolted awake, looking in several directions at once in a panic. 

“What happened?”

“Go to bed, big cat,” Dan said, not unkindly. 

Holly took out a project she’d been working on - embroidering some kind of fancy robe for a costume. 

There was a lot of white fabric and red thread. 

“I’m gonna stay up and work on this,” she told him. 

“I’m gonna go find Brian,” said Dan.

“He’s outside,” said Holly. “He looks kinda… morose. Bring him a buckeye?”

“That’s a good idea,” said Dan, and he took two, one in each hand. 

They were chilly and smooth, although soon the chocolate would melt off, to smear on his hands. 

Brian was sitting outside, once again on his trusty camp chair. 

Dan came up behind him, cautiously, until Brian finished talking on the phone quietly. 

“I love you too, sweetie. Okay, put mommy on the phone. I’ll be home in nine days.” He heaved a sigh. “And… thanks for that. For talking. I appreciate it.” He laughed at something. “I love you too. Good night.”

Brian relaxed back into the chair, and then he glanced up at Dan, raising an eyebrow.

“You know,” Brian said flatly, “for an assortment of coathangers wearing a skin suit, you’re remarkably quiet.”

“Just for that, you don’t get a buckeye,” Dan said, and he shoved his in his mouth.

And promptly regretted it.

The thing was _cold_ for a start, as if it had been sitting in the freezer.

Which it probably had, in retrospect. 

It was also very, very sweet. Peanut butter, and chocolate, and what seemed to be a pound of sugar, swamping Dan’s mouth, filling up his head. 

“Holy fuck,” Dan choked out, and he was coughing.

Brian was laughing, full on laughing, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees laughing, and he didn’t seem to be able to stop. 

“Holy… fuck,” he managed to gasp out. “Oh my god, holy shit!”

“I must be pretty funny,” Danny said, around a mouthful of sweetened peanut butter and chocolate, “to make you use a thing you don’t believe in as an… exclamation.” 

He spat on the ground - his saliva felt like the sugar syrup they put on Sno-Cones.

“I can be an atheist and still use “god” as an exclamation,” said Brian. He stood up, grabbed Dan’s arm, and shoved the younger man into the chair. “You clearly need this more than I do.”

Dan was still snickering, as the buckeye was plucked out of his hand. 

“I think the mistake was to eat the whole thing in one go,” said Brian, and he took a bite of it. 

And then he made a face.

“Why would anything in life need to be this sweet?”

“Wren is sweeter than that,” said Dan, before his brain caught up with his mouth. 

“You really just said that,” Brian said, deadpan. 

“I did,” said Dan, because there was no backing down now. “I’d say it again!”

“I don’t doubt that you would,” Brian said. “That doesn’t mean it’s not a ridiculous thing to say!”

Dan laughed. 

“I’m turning into a dad, aren’t I?” There was a lot less horror in the statement then he thought there would be. 

Huh.

“You’ve been a dad for a while, Daniel,” said Brian. 

“Well, yeah. Since I knew Holly was pregnant.”

“No, it’s more than that,” said Brian dismissively. “It’s a state of mind. You’ve been a dad since she was born.”

Dan shrugged.

“I… I admire you, a little bit,” said Brian, and he cleared his throat. “Because… well, because you’re… you’re very flexible. You’ve completely changed your identity, and you’re okay with it. You embrace it.”

“I haven’t changed that much, have I?” Dan stared up at the sky, which was bright with the lights of the city. 

“You cut your hair,” Brian said, and he was leaning back against the bus, staring up at some point in the middle distance. “You cut your hair, you got married, you got a tattoo.” 

“Well, yeah, but all of those were just… the right thing to do. At the time.”

Dan trailed off, aware of how silly he sounded. 

“And that makes sense,” said Brian, and he made a frustrated noise. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“I’m being...unreasonable,” said Brian, and his voice shook a little.

Then he cleared his throat.

“Bri,” said Dan, carefully, “do you have something you want to talk about?”

“What was it like, realizing you liked guys?”

“Are you having, like, a gay awakening?” 

That was… unexpected. Dan didn’t get a gay vibe off of Brian.

Then again, he didn’t get a gay vibe from Arin, and he’d literally had his dick up Arin’s ass. 

So maybe Dan’s gaydar - or bidar, or whatever the fuck it was - needed fixing.

“No, I’m not having a gay awakening,” Brian said, in that same tooth grindingly patient tone that made Dan think of Ninja Brian.

Brian would never stab anyone, in real life.

But some of that Ninja Brian rage came from _somewhere_. 

“Dan,” Brian said, “I’ve had relationships with men before.”

“... what, really?” 

That… was not what Dan had expected. At all.

It wasn’t that Brian really came off as straight.

It was more that Dan couldn’t really imagine him with anyone else.

He only had eyes for Rachel, and that was that. 

“Yeah,” said Brian, and he laughed. “What, you just assumed I was straight?”

“Well, yeah,” said Dan. “I’ve only ever seen you with Rachel.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m straight,” Brian said. “It just means I’m monogamous.” Then he groaned, covering his face with both hands.

“So why are you asking me about when I realized I was into dudes.” He caught Brian’s worried look. “Not that I’m mad or anything, I promise.”

“Because… an integral part of your identity was being a straight single guy, right?”

Dan nodded. He more or less understood. 

“And then in the course of… like, a year, you shack up with a married woman, begin a romantic relationship with two other men, and then father a child, in every sense of the word.”

“What do you mean, in every sense of the word?”

“I mean,” said Brian, “that not only did you stick your dick in Holly and ejaculate enough to get her pregnant, but you have changed diapers, read bedtime stories, been pooped on, and stayed up all night.”

“Well, yeah,” said Dan, and he blushed, looking down at his hands.

“So you fathered a child.” Brian cleared his throat. “But… I’ve never had my identity shift that… drastically. I realized I wasn’t straight as a teenager, but I hadn’t assumed I would be, I just figured I’d like someone, and when one of the someone’s I liked turned out to be a guy, I figured I might as well go with it.” 

“Oh,” said Dan.

“But… I’ve always been monogamous,” said Brian. “I love Rachel. I… the degree that I love her, I don’t have words. I could make music about it, or… anything like that, but….” He sighed. “I… I worry I’m being unfaithful. Or that I’ve stopped loving her and didn’t realize it.”

“Dude,” said Dan, and he stood up, hugging Brian, his chin on Brian’s shoulder.

“I miss her,” Brian mumbled. “But being in close quarters like this is making me… realize some things that I’ve been trying to ignore, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.” 

“Do you wanna… you know, share? What you’re feeling.” 

Brian sighed, took a step back, pushing his hair back from his face.

“I told Rachel. That I’ve got… that I’ve got feelings for someone else. I told her that I’m worried that I’ll fall out of love with her.” He grinned, his teeth glowing under the halogen light. “You know what her response was? She laughed.”

“I’d laugh too,” said Dan. “She adores you. You adore her.”

“Yeah, but I also… I don’t want to call it falling in love. But I have… I have feelings.” Brian covered his face with both hands, a gesture in frustration more than bashfulness, or so it appeared. “I have a crush on Arin.”

“Yeah? I mean, I can’t blame you,” said Dan, and he laughed, self conscious. 

“I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to… horn in on your territory or anything,” Brian said quickly, and then he made a face. “Although I hate talking about another person like that.”

“Then don’t,” Dan suggested. “Just… you’ve got a crush. Did you tell that to Rachel too?”

“Yeah,” said Brian. “She said she’s okay with it.” He put a hand to his chest, as relief flooded his whole face. 

“Are you gonna tell Arin?”

“I want to go home and talk to Rachel first. And… you know, figure out if this is just because I’m whatever the equivalent of a third wheel is, with your dodecahedron.”

“... what?”

“You can’t settle for a love triangle. It’s some weird shape that you can only make with a 3D graphics program at MIT.”

“Have you been to MIT?”

“I taught there,” Brian said, in his best “no, duh” tone of voice. 

“But yeah,” said Dan, and he cleared his throat. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” said Brian, and he sighed. “Could you maybe… I don’t know, I haven’t had a crush in years. Could you call me out if I’m being too weird?”

“Don’t worry, Bri,” said Dan. “I got your back.”

* * * 

They all slept like the dead, Dan with his headphones in, dozing off to a video of Wren having a bath while hiccuping.

* * * 

Philly was… itself. 

Arin, Brian, and Suzy all had cheesesteaks, while Holly and Dan found an excellent little Greek place, and had some alone time.

“It feels weird, all this traveling,” said Holly, as they sat under an umbrella and people watched, sharing a plate of spanakopita. 

“Yeah?” Dan brushed some crumbs off of his stubble. 

He’d need to shave before the show tonight. 

“I was going crazy from being home all the time,” said Holly. “Like… I was doing stuff, other than being a mom, and other than being a pigeon keeper. But I miss Feathers, and Mo, and Orph, and Pancake….” She looked down, ashamed. “I didn’t think I’d miss Wren this much.”

“She’s our baby,” Dan pointed out gently.

“Well, yeah,” said Holly. “But…” she huffed out a frustrated breath, and grabbed his hand, squeezing his fingers with her small ones. “I didn’t realize I thought of her as… a person. She was like a really ugly pigeon that I stuffed my boob into and put diapers on, only I’m realizing that changed at some point, and now she’s a tiny person, and I miss her.”

Dan… didn’t get it. 

Wren had been a person to him from the start, and he was getting to meet more and more of her every day, as she got older. 

But he could make sympathetic noises, at least. 

“I miss holding her,” Holly admitted, and she sniffled, then wiped her nose on a napkin, laughing, clearly self conscious. 

“We’ll be home soon,” Dan promised. “And… if it’s really too hard, you can get on a plane to go home. I’ll even buy you the ticket.”

“You won’t have to do that,” Holly assured him. “But… thank you.” She sighed. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate your shows, because I do.”

“Pidge, if I had to choose between performing and spending time with our daughter, it’d be about an even split,” which was pretty true. Then he laughed. “Honestly, I’d rather see her right now. If Ross showed up with her, right now, it’d be… perfect.”

Holly sighed. “Eight days?”

“Eight days.”

“Well,” said Holly. “At least I can drink and put a dent in this project.”

“That’s good,” Dan agreed. “And we’ll be happier to see her when we get home.”

“Yeah,” said Holly. She groaned, staring down at her breasts and making a face. “I’m never traveling while breastfeeding again, if the kid isn’t in tow.”

“Seems fair,” said Dan. “You wanna go back to the hotel and pump?”

“Yeah,” said Holly. She squeezed his fingers. “Could you keep me company? I don’t… I don’t want to do anything, like, sexy, but I’d like you to cuddle me, if that’s okay?”

“Anything for you, darling,” said Dan, and he kissed her knuckles. 

She blushed. 

* * *

Suzy and Brian went off to look at historical stuff. 

They were staying in a hotel tonight, since parking the bus would be hell, and Arin checked them all in.

“Would you guys mind if I keep you company?” Arin looked embarrassed, biting his lip. “Or if you want, like, couple time, that’s okay.”

Dan glanced at Holly. 

She nodded.

“No, that’d be fine,” said Holly. “Long as you’re okay with, uh, my boobs not being that sexy.”

“You’re always sexy,” said Arin, with the kind of heart melting sincerity that made Dan fall in love with him all over again.

* * * 

Holly reclined on the bed, her eyes half closed, a pillow against her head to protect it from the headboard.

Arin was on one side of her, his thigh snug against hers, his arm around her waist. 

Dan was on her other side, his arm wrapped around her waist as well.

It would have been too hot and kinda gross, but Holly liked being cuddled like this when she was pumping. 

Reminded her of nursing Wren, or something like that. 

But the motor of the pump hummed quietly, and Dan snuggled up to her, as she looked at a picture of Wren, and an old movie played on the television. 

He drifted in and out, lulled by Arin’s quiet voice as he chatted with Holly, and by Holly’s own breathing. 

* * * 

The show was… something.

People were more rowdy than usual, but that in and of itself wasn’t too unusual. 

People were always got more rowdy, as tours went on. 

Tumblr posts and reddit and Instagram probably had something to do with that.

He nearly got brained by a thrown beer bottle, but Arin caught it, and made some joke about it.

He had planned to surprise Holly with a night of loving, but he was too tired, and they both fell into bed and slept.

He woke up, once, and she was snoring, squeakily, right next to him, her hair a pink halo on the pillow, and his heart seized in his chest. 

He kissed her shoulder - she made a quiet noise, and rolled over.

* * * 

“Hey, Hols?”

“Mmm?” Holly looked up from her embroidery - the red embroidery was sprouting across the fabric like a mold. 

“You mind if me and Arin wander around the city? I wanna find some old friends.”

“Can I come?”

“Sure,” said Dan, “but after lunch?”

“What are you hiding from me?” Holly raised an eyebrow. 

“You’ll see,” Dan sing-songed.

* * * 

The tattoo shop was small, way downtown, across the street from a closed ethiopian restaurant. 

The proprietor grinned at Dan, when he stuttered out what he wanted.

There was a taxidermied kudu head staring at him, and old keys all over the walls.

“Suzy would love this place,” said Arin, appreciatively. 

“I hope so….”

“So what can we do for you?”

“Well,” said Dan, “I’ve got an idea, but it’s… you know, weird.”

“I once tattooed a potato onto someone.” said the artist. “Gimme your best shot.”

* * * 

It sucked.

It sucked a lot, and his hand was still twitching when he got back to the bus. 

* * * 

“The hell did you do?” Holly said, and she stared at Dan’s wrist.

“Might’ve gotten a tattoo.”

“Why’d you get a tattoo literally _right_ before a show?”

“Well,” said Dan, “the last time I got a tattoo, Sam said that if I didn’t go to him for my next tattoo, he’d beat my ass the next time I saw him, and my mom likes him and invites him, to like, Thanksgiving, so I’d get my ass beat in front of my nephews.”

“So you had to get it right before the show?”

“Well, the show is eight ‘til ten, and the shop closes at nine.”

“Okay,” she told him, and she kissed him. 

* * * 

The show was… it was good.

It was the kind of good that left him electrified, and he danced, spinning and whirling, until he was at the hotel again, swirling and dancing, pressing close to Holly and kissing up and down her neck. 

They had a hotel again, and it was all for Holly, as he pressed her into the wall and kissed her, her leg wrapped around his hip, her face in his collarbone as he ground against her. 

“I’m gonna fuck you, baby,” said Dan. “However you want to do it, if you want me to stick my dick in you, I’ll do it, if you want me lick your pussy, if you want me to suck your toes or sing to you or get you a vegetarian sandwich from the best restaurant in the city?”

“Dan,” Holly mumbled, and then she moaned, as he kissed down her neck, down between her breasts through the shirt - _his_ shirt, and then he pulled it open, kissing along the soft skin of her breasts. 

“Anything for you, baby. Anything. Anything anything.”

“Eat me out,” said Holly, breathless. “Eat me out, show me your new tattoo and eat me out.”

“... how about I eat you out first,” said Dan, his brain finally catching up with his mouth. 

“Why?”

“Because I don’t wanna be thinking about how I’m getting ink on the sheets when I’m enjoying your wonderful, glorious, soft pussy.”

Dan dropped onto his knees, pushing her shirt up, kissing along her soft, warm belly.

There were stretch marks on her belly, and he licked them, then tugged on her jeans, shoving them down. 

She whimpered, and one leg went on his shoulder.

He buried his face in her pussy, through her panties, licking along the the lips, sucking on her labia.

“Oh, fuck,” mumbled Holly, and she ground against his face, as he shoved her panties down, and he wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking on it, then flickering his tongue along it, then rasping the flat of his tongue across her.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Holly wailed, and she jerked against him, as he buried his face deeper inside, his tongue sliding into her pussy, nudging his nose against her clit.

She tasted so good, so familiar, she was so… she was… she was his wife, she was his beloved, and he was hers, and his head was filled with music and poetry, like some kind of modern day David.

He laughed into her pussy, and he sucked on her clit again, as his finger slid along her slit.

“In me, please, in me, oh god, please, Dan….”

“Anything for you, my darling,” said Dan, and his long fingers slid into her, first his middle finger, then his middle and his index finger.

“Oh,” she sighed, and she leaned into the wall, more weight on Dan’s face, and okay, this was sexy, but he also couldn’t breathe. 

“Babe?” He pulled back, resting his chin on Holly’s mons, still pressing down on her g-spot with his fingers as she clenched around him, breathing heavily, his fingers trapped inside of her.

“W-w-what?” 

“On the bed,” said Dan. “I’m gonna suffocate.”

“I’ve sat on your face before,” Holly said, and she flopped out on the bed, her legs wide open, her panties dangling over one ankle. 

“Yeah, but this ain’t the night for it,” said Dan. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” said Holly, and she smiled. “Can you still eat me out?”

“Of course,” said Dan. “Always.”

* * * 

He licked her to orgasm - three times, his lips around her clit, his fingers as deep as they could get, drenched to the eyebrows. 

He was whispering bits of poetry into her pussy, complicated bits of biblical poetry from his childhood, from the love songs his father sang.

Holly pulled on his hair, until her fingers were probably tight, like she’d been trying to lift something up with a clay cutter.

“Baby,” Holly whimpered, “baby, I’m… please, I’m ready, I want your cock, please!”

Dan came up, his chin covered in slick, his a few of her pubic hair all over his lips. 

“You sure, sweetie?” He was going to his suitcase, digging through the one pocket, pulling the box of condoms out and removing a little foil wrapped package. 

He ripped it open, and rolled it over his own cock - when had he taken his pants off? Or his boxers? He didn’t remember, except that he was so horny that he was going to cum, very fast.

Despite his exciting rendezvous with Arin the night before, he was on a hair trigger. 

“I’m gonna cum in, like, three seconds,” he warned her. 

“I can’t take much more than three seconds,” she agreed, pushing her legs apart.

Her breasts were leaking - she’d need a new shirt, and to wash this one, next time they had a chance to do laundry.

But that was a problem for the future.

* * * 

He sank into her, inch by inch, until he was fully seated, and he would have wept, if not for the fact he was forehead to forehead with Holly, and that would be embarrassing. 

As if nearly busting a nut wasn’t embarrassing. 

So fuck it. 

He sobbed as he began to thrust, and he kissed along her neck, the salt of his tears mixing with the salt of her sweat, until he was hilted and thrusting shallowly, as she lay there languidly, holding on to his shoulders, her hips beginning to buck. 

“We feedeth amongst the lilies,” Dan mumbled, and then he was cumming, into the condom, into her, as her soft, wet heat took him in and held on. 

“Oh,” Holly said thickly, and then Dan pulled out, his cock still pulsing, because… well, one baby was enough. 

She squeezed him, and that was more pleasure, filling him up like a kettle, and he sobbed, bucking into her hand as she pushed him towards a second orgasm, and it hurt, but she wasn’t letting him get soft, and he came again, a desperate, almost dry orgasm that left him lying flat on the bed, panting, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Holy shit,” Dan mumbled, and then he grinned at her, pushing his hair out from his eyes. 

“Are you gonna show me your tattoo now?” Holly’s voice was deceptively perky, as she pulled the condom off of him.

He sobbed at her delicate touch on his swollen flesh, and he rolled onto his back and waved one hand absently.

“What are you doing?” 

“White flag,” Dan mumbled. “I’m done. Out for the count.”

She prodded him in the side. 

“You gotta clean your tattoo.”

“In a minute.”

“No, not in a minute,” said Holly. “You’re gonna fall asleep, and you’re gonna forget, and you’ll wake up and it’ll be all gross and crusty and stuck to the bandage.”

“Okay, okay,” Dan grumbled, and he sat up and made his way to the bathroom. 

Holly followed him. 

* * * 

He let her peel the bandage off, as he sat on the toilet seat, and she washed it, as tenderly as she’d wash her own new tattoo.

She made a surprised noise when she saw it, under all the tattoo gunk and dried ink and blood.

“A wren?”

“Yeah,” said Dan, and he grinned crookedly. “You guys are my everything.”

She rolled her eyes, but she kissed him anyway. 

* * * 

And then they were on the bus again.

It was a bit poignant, saying goodbye to New York, but now they were only a week from home.

* * * 

Time seemed to...blur together. 

They sped along. 

Dan kissed Holly in front of the Lincoln Memorial and Arin in front of the Washington Monument, and then performed to a cheerful, clearly very drunk crowd. 

* * * 

Then they were in Nashville, and Suzy bought herself a pair of cowboy boots, which someone had meticulously sewn beetles into, with rainbow thread. 

Holly nearly had a heart attack the first time she saw a guy with a shotgun slung across his back in a grocery store, and Dan pulled her closer to him.

Someone from the audience gave him a customized My Little Pony, complete with menorah horn. 

* * * 

Dan blew Arin in a closet in Kansas City, and nearly had a heart attack when Brian opened the door, looked at them both, and closed the door.

Suzy wouldn’t stop laughing at them for the rest of the night, and Holly looked faintly smug, which really wasn’t fair. 

* * *

Dan ate bad sushi in Denver, and threw up out of the bus rather spectacularly, with Holly holding his hair back and making sympathetic noises. 

But the crowd in Denver were lovely, calm and laughing, dancing along. 

He kissed Holly the way he did the first night they fucked, and she melted against him like so much ice.

* * * 

Arin fell in love with the pink houses in Albuquerque, and Suzy promised him one, when they were both old. 

Holly spotted two of her life birds, which was a bit confusing to Dan, but hey, it was a thing that made her happy.

He bought her a sweater with a quail embroidered on the back, complete with goofy pompadour. 

Brian got some rather… suspicious candy, which put everyone on edge. There were flames on the wrapper. 

At the show, a fan shyly handed Brian a pair of custom made “throwing stars,” which were thankfully made of foam.

One of them was black and gold, and one of them was red, white, and blue. 

* * * 

Phoenix was dry, and Holly was beginning to perk up.

“I feel like I’m back home,” she told Dan. “It’s… drier, but it’s the desert, and that’s where I belong.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She grinned at him. “I _love_ it!” 

“I’m glad,” said Dan, and he kissed her.

* * * 

The crowd at Phoenix was… well, it was… there was something tense.

A lot more heckling, which Dan could deal with - he heckled right back.

Why was everyone so on edge?

Maybe it was about to rain - Dan’s own skin was prickling, and his hair all felt like it was standing on end. 

But whatever it was, there were beer bottles being thrown. 

And it was like the fucking bras, all over again. 

Dan groaned inwardly, but he put on his best smile.

Until a bottle of beer hit him in the crotch, at full force.

At which point he bent double, professionalism be damned, and then he just… walked off stage.

Because fuck it.

“Are you okay?” Holly was concerned, rushing over from where she’d been sitting on the couch.

“I got him some ice,” said Suzy, and she carefully placed it on his lap.

Dan winced, then sighed.

His cock was throbbing like a bad tooth, and he didn’t want to do anything.

“Fuck,” said Arin. “We, uh… we told everyone to go home, because… this shit isn’t cool, and if you’re not safe that’s not right.”

“There’ll be consequences.”

“Tough fucking shit,” said Arin, and he was genuinely angry. “At least security got the guy who threw the bottle.”

Holly was pressed up close to Dan, her head on his shoulder, her arm around his waist, and she sighed, then shivered. 

“I’m sorry, fuzz face.”

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t throw it.”

He sighed. 

“I’m gonna go out and apologize,” he said.

“Bullshit,” said Arin.

His face was red, and his fists were clenching. 

“But their money -”

“We’ll worry about that when we get home, okay? Right now, how about you get changed, and we get you back to the bus?”

“Well… alright.”

It was hard to argue. 

* * * 

There was a meeting with the security guard, discussions on pressing charges.

It was some drunk kid, too young to be drinking beer in the first place, but, well….

Dan sighed.

“Don’t you ever do that again,” he told the kid. “And tell your friends. What you did was _assault_ , do you understand?”

More blubbering, with nodding. 

“Okay. Good.” 

Dan sighed, stood up straight, and winced. 

At least it wasn’t as bad as the time he’d taken a baseball to the nuts. 

* * * 

And then he was on the bus, cuddled up to Holly in her bunk, curled around her like a snail’s shell.

“Just think,” he whispered into her ear, “this time tomorrow, we’ll be at home.”

“With a mountain of laundry to do,” Holly moaned. “And a clingy Wren - she’s been crying a lot, Ross said.”

Dan’s heart broke, and he sighed.

“But home,” said Dan.

“Home,” Holly agreed. 

* * *

_It was the nursery, and Wren was in the crib, and she was fussing, in the black and green onesie that Vernon had gotten her, with the little dinosaur tail. He bent down to look into the crib, and that wasn’t his daughter, there was something wrong with the face, something wrong with the jaw -_

_And then it was lunging for his face, tearing at his cheeks, sinking teeth like needles into the meat of his face, punctured his eyeball, and he couldn’t breathe, he was… he was…._

Dan woke up with a jolt, and he was squeezed into the small bunk with Holly, panting heavily. 

Her hair was in his face, and he carefully untangled himself, grabbing his phone from his jacket pocket and sneaking outside in just his pajama pants, his pale chest glowing in the moonlight, and the lights of the parking lot. 

He had meant to come out here and watch a dumb YouTube video, like a cat being afraid of a cucumber, but he found himself calling Ross. 

“Someone better be dead,” Ross said, his voice thick and petulant.

“Check on Wren, please,” said Dan, his voice hoarse and on the verge of panic.

“What? Dan?” Ross sounded confused, and there was rustling. 

“Please,” Dan said. “I’m sorry, I had… I had a nightmare, and I miss you, I miss you alot, and I had this nightmare, and....”

He was blubbering, for fuck sake.

“Shh,” said Ross, and okay, that was the same voice that he used when he spoke to Wren, and Dan would have been offended, if not for the fact that he was on the edge of a panic attack. “Shh, it’s okay. She sleeping next to me, in the attached crib.”

“Can I talk to her?”

“Dan,” Ross said, his voice rough, “It is three in the fucking morning. I am not waking up the baby so you can assuage your fears.”

“Can you at least take a picture? Please? Is she breathing? Can I listen to her breathing?”

“What the fuck kind of dream was that?” Ross sounded genuinely unsettled.

“A really bad one,” Dan said thickly, and he licked his lips. “Please?”

“I’ll put the phone by her,” Ross said, “but if you wake her up, I swear….”

“I’ll clean up the pigeon loft for a month,” said Dan. “I’ll scoop cat boxes and do all the diapers, just… please.”

“... okay,” said Ross. “Now shush.”

* * * 

He could hear her breathing. 

She breathed quietly, and she was making vague sucking sounds with her lips - was she dreaming of Holly? 

Was she dreaming of him?

He wanted to say something, but she sounded so peaceful, and his heart was slowing down, and he was just breathing, quietly, until the phone rustled again. 

“Better?”

“Better,” Dan said. “I love you,” he said, awkward.

“I love you too,” Ross said, much less awkward. “I’ll tell you about my hot make outs with Barry on the couch tomorrow.”

“Looking forward to it,” Dan said, and then he yawned. “I’m gonna go sleep now.”

“Me too. Night.”

“Night.” 

* * * 

He crawled back into bed with Holly, and he cuddled up to her, then fell asleep.

He didn’t dream.

* * * 

The next day was fuzzy.

He shook the driver’s hand. 

He got off the bus, for the last fucking time, after he’d gathered up all his junk and his trash, and then… there was his car, and he was getting in it. 

He was getting in it, with Holly next to him, and they were going home. 

But it wasn’t home yet - not when they turned into their driveway, not when they walked to their front door and Dan fumbled his keys out and unlocked the door.

No, it wasn’t home until Ross was standing there in the foyer, holding Wren, her arms outstretched for Dan.

“Abababab!” She squealed. 

Dan didn’t take his shoes off, didn’t take his luggage in, just walked straight in. 

He kissed Ross, and then said “give me my baby.”

“Someone’s pushy,” said Ross, but then Dan wasn’t paying attention, because he was holding Wren, his arm under her bottom, his big hand spread across her back, his fingers long enough that he was touching each of her shoulder blades.

He pressed his face into her sweet smelling head, her curly red hair tickling his nose, and he sobbed, then kissed her.

Holly came up behind him, and she was wrapping her arms around him as well, and pushing her face in Wren’s face.

“Ma! Mamamama!” 

“Hi, baby,” Holly whispered, and she kissed Wren’s cheek. 

Then she went to kiss Ross, soundly.

Dan nuzzled the top of Wren’s head, as she drooled down the front of his shirt. 

Now.

Now he was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic? 
> 
> Check out my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com. 
> 
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